The Business and The Berries

Firstly, let me say that I only post pictures of exposed fillets because I love you.

Secondly, please take some time out to visit my mates photographic blog - Brazen, I know you will. Him and his bird are travelling South America and taking some awesome pics, as well as sharing some great stories and experiences - Four Drops of This

Thirdly, I want to share this rather dramtic news article with you. Cops Joy at 'Rolex' Arrest - Gang suspect held after dramatic chase through Sandton

This all happened right outside Cream Girls office window. Just after she got back from lunch. She sent me an email saying...

"Oh my hat! There is a massive shootout right outside our offices on west, heard serious gun shots but we can’t see anything cause the trees are in the way..."

This is South Africa, Readers. Accept it.

When I first got this email, I panicked. Uncontrolled thoughts and worry run through your mind, because you're not there to understand what's going on. But if I was there, I would be standing on the balcony trying to see what the fuss is just the same, pissed off that the trees are blocking the view, and curious as to why people are running in all directions.

This, my dear comrades, is an excellent example of how use to this we've become.

Well done to the cops for finally catching this fucker. May he rot in prison.

Lastly, I have nothing against Canadia or Canadians, they're lovely folk...it's a reference I use to speak about certain...people...so.to.say.

Cheap.

Something extra because that bum is freakin' me out now!

Um, yep! Comic humour compliments of the boys @ Explosm

Wow! We have some serious plumbers bum!

We were witness to this at lunch yesterday! Holy mother of god...that's a ditch!

That may be the 8th natural wonder of the world!

Tell me this, don't you feel a draft running across your exposed skin? Do you tell him/her to cover those fillets up so we can all enjoy our lunch? Or do you take a picture?

Shit, karma's going to send a runaway hubcap up my nose!

That boot needs a pot plant and a water feature! Forgive me.

Serio-anus.

TS. No Bellakanoose comic today, sorry. Ches & Custard are on vacation in Belize trying to find the answer to life, the universe and malva pudding.

FEEL GOOD INC.

I suffered a bit of ridicule yesterday...kick it! I have reason to feel good.

Seeing as it’s the ‘final’ month of the year - the one before we all set off on our various annual holidays - I thought I’d share a few 10 reason’s for feeling the business with you.
And hope my Readers (that's you!), leave me with your reason/s here after…


I have the most wonderful and gorgeous girlfriend - fuck yes, a bit of sop for you ladies ;)
I have endless bush-time over December to look forward too.
I’m seeing The Killers live, in Joburg!
I have new adventures and opportunities on the horizon for 2010.
We have 2010!
I got to travel & see Vietnam.
I am in ~love~ [Does that scare you?]
I become an uncle, again, in 10 days – maybe sooner!
The Moose's are out grazing their sour maple leaves in Canada!
I found my car key! {not so stupid now!}

The berries?

Incorporated.

I'm with stupid -->

I have a spasm in my neck. Weird.

I've been unusually clumsy of late...

1.1 Drop my car key in the elevator...it bounces a few times and then slips through the gap and hurtles down the shaft to a horrific end - R1000 to open up the elevator and recover it...mind.the.gap!

2.1 Bank cancel all my cards precisely at the moment after I have put petrol in my car - thanks Rand Merchant Bank, I now have an IOU for Mr. Mohammed's BP Garage.

3.1 Get Cream Girl and myself stuck in the elevator - 30mins of emergency bell ringing.

4.1 Leave my spare car key in Cream Girls car - really just an excuse to see her.

5.1 I accidentally asked an escaped moose if he is satisfied with his antlers, or does his ego warrant more maple leaves for him to chew.

6.1 Slip in the shower and injured Fred Bassett.

Number 5.1 being neither here nor there.

I just ate a chocolate croissant. I have R10 in my pocket...and Piglet is wearing high heels.

Munch.

Goverment Services = Lekker

There are a lot of rusted gutters at Langlaagte Traffic Department, which lies directly between the armpit and crackpit of Johannesburg.

I'm not going to bitch about how sorry the service is at one, if not all of these establishments, I can only reassure you that the ice-cream salesman must make an absolute killing.

Thank god for Solero's!

So Cream Girl's car was stolen and recovered, however the efficient police service never cleared it. So we had to go do it ourselves, which took at day, in the sun, in Fordsberg which by the way, has lovely adhesive concrete on which to play knots and crosses, and dust particles...it's a bitch being number 000091 in the queue!

Happy Weekend!

Going nowhere slowly...

GREAT WAY TO SPEND A THURSDAY! CELLPHONE BLOGGING FROM LANGLAAGTE TRAFFIC DEPT SUCKS BALLS! I HATE PUBLIC SERVICES. WHAT DO PIGS AND A STOLEN CAR HAVE IN COMMON? HELL ON EARTH! LOVE CHES.

Bellakanoose Wednesday #10 - Sexual Relations

by Chester Pillow ©2009 ParkLife

Facebook Therapy

Icepick asked me once if I engage in any forms of online social networking.

Twitter, in my opinion, is a waste of 140 characters. A life absorbing gimmick that expresses the worlds obsession with self-centeredness, and the need to show-off your tiny pin-prick existence in the shortest way possible.

What happened to old school blogging?

I do however, participate in various forms of Facebook.

Just yesterday, I shredded a whole bunch of 'friends' from my list...and it felt unbelievably good.

Although these might have been people I rarely engage with, they are however, constantly annoying and far from harmless.

Group requests! Event invitations! Friend suggestions! Join my cause! Become a Zombie! Lost my cellphone!

Why isn't there a Fuck-OFF and Leave me Alone request?!

There are friends I hardly speak to but these folk are harmless, and hardly bother me much. Apart from the odd status update or birthday.
Facebook for me is a way to connect with the people I seldom see, yet would communicate with regularly if they were to live in Joburg....that's it!

I don't need to know that Linda and Miguel are no longer in a relationship for the 19th time! Or that Joshua just had a pooh. For the love of god!

Parenting.

People Watching

Imagine you woke-up, and your life as you 'knew' it, was a dream...

...and you were, in fact, an Egyptian Goose at Emmerentia Dam, with humans handing you loaves of bread!

Kuk, hey?

Like the Goldfish concert yesterday.

Really, it's an awesome way to spend a Sunday, don't get me wrong. But I think I'm right in saying, Goldfish get lost at big, open air venues. I've seen them twice at medium to large sized clubs and they were awesome...their music is awesome, but somehow, it didn't really work for me at Emmerentia Dam.

Apart from us all being slightly hung over and tired from our Halloween Party the night before.

I came to 4 conclusions on Sunday, watching Joburg pass me by to the sounds of 340 mil in the back ground...

1. The daughter is never going to a concert at Emmerentia until she is at least 21!
2. We were all very under dressed!
3. Portable toilets are possibly the most retched lavatorial devices on Earth!
4. Some kids are on a one way ticket to Fucked Up!

People Watching. It's the business!

Observing some of these less-than-with-it individuals stroll around in the lumo shades, tight jeans and Roman saddles only reaffirms we...I...should drink less.

Yes, Readers...Ches has now officially decided that my binge drinking is a thing of the past. And not that I'm a bad drunk by any means...I just sometimes loose the plot, then feel like shit the next morning with a slight case of the losers complex.

It's been 13 years - without revealing my age - of endless drinking and partying, to which weakens the one's soul, and is now time to take-it-easy.

~Ches you're getting old~

I'm not stopping drinking entirely, Readers, I'm just not drinking to get 'fucked up' anymore.

After 4 beers at my folks - watching rugga with my family - Cream Girl and I were quite happy and excited about our evening thus follows. However, I let myself down by drinking shooters, downers and half cane, half creame' soda's until I had lost myself and succumb to the irresponsibility and irrationality of drunkenness. When really I could have just continued with the beers or drank normal sized cane's, and forgo the shooters and downers and my...our...evening would have been far less crazy, and far more fun.

Point.Enough. It's time. Anyway.

It was a good weekend. I am wrecked though. We went to bed at like 8 last night...

...and I'm feeling it. Sore throat and all.

Did you all have a good weekend?

Chives.